Yes Columbia, it will let you know that xref's have been updated. Then, you could always throw this little diddy out. It's not reactor driven, but it's a start to not doing it quite as manually.
;;;===xref reload===;
;;; allows user to select xref to reload or hit enter to reload all xrefs ;
(defun c:xre ()
(setq cme (getvar "cmdecho"))
(setvar "cmdecho" 0)
(setq xref
(car (entsel
"\nSelect referenced object to reload or <Enter>: "
) ;_ end of entsel
) ;_ end of car
) ;_ end of setq
(if (= xref nil)
(progn
(command ".xref" "reload" "*")
(princ "\nAll xref's have been reloaded.")
) ;_ end of progn
(progn
(setq xreload (cdr (assoc 2 (entget xref))))
(command ".xref" "reload" xreload)
(princ (strcat "\n" xreload " reloaded."))
) ;_ end of progn
) ;_ end of if
(setvar "cmdecho" cme)
(princ)
)